Well guys, it’s almost New Year’s Eve. Whatever 2016 was, it’s almost over, and that’s defs something to celebrate real hard.
If you’re anything like me, your night will consist of large sums of fermented beverages that will make you act like a piece of shit while convincing yourself that you’re the hottest person in the room and could totally win a stripping contest. Don’t I sound great? Don’t you want to hang out with me?
If you’re also anything like me, you’ll be all too familiar with the experience of blacking out. Let me explain this top notch phenomenon in the simplest of terms. Blacking out is essentially when you’re parting real hard and your mind decides it just doesn’t need to be around anymore. In a fair world, you would just call it a night, your whole body would give up and you’d pass out until morning. But since we live in a general hell hole, sometimes when your mind peaces out, the rest of you just keeps on going. Like one of those terrible wind up toys. And much like those toys, there is no longer a brain controlling your movements. These are the nights that result in the poorest of decisions, the cracking of phone screens, the darkest of bruises and the complete loss of dignity.
I have completely blacked out about five times in my life, but one was especially bad. I’m going to tell you this story with hopes that you will make good (ish) decisions tonight, and most importantly, stay safe.
It was my first week of University, and I had just put my dog down. See where I’m going with this? I was in a new place, with new humans and I was a complete emotional wreck. This is an excellent prelude to any story that ends in the protagonist’s entire lack of all cognitive thought. That night, some rapper or something was preforming at the University, so obviously myself and a bunch of temporary friends that hardly knew each other got our hands on underaged vodka and were prepping for a darn great time! The night started out well, I guess? We were sitting on the floor of a generic dorm room, taking shots, but by the time we left the room, my mind had left me my own devices. I woke up the next morning with literally no idea what had happened. How was I in my room? How was I alive? Was I alive? I got myself together and a long with a couple friends from the night before, went to get some greasy ass food. We got to the cafeteria and I was approach by a guy who called me by name and referenced the amazingly deep, political conversation we’d had the night before. Apparently we’d met back at our dorm and had spent the better part of an hour discussing our inner thoughts on political parties, social equality and the general shit show that is modern society. I didn’t remember a thing, but was pretty impressed with myself. Blackout Katie was a genius, Blackout Katie made friends and had meaningful conversations! I was convinced that I could do it all again and everything would be great.
That night, we started drinking again at around 5 p.m. and things very quickly went south. I’m told that by 7:30 p.m., I was being escorted to my room where I proceeded to throw up extensively into a garbage can while a friend literally shoved bread down my throat (I am still good friends with this person, who will never let me forget this moment). Once I had passed out and it was clear I wasn’t going to choke on my own vomit, I was tucked in and left to sleep. Blackout Katie doesn’t just go to sleep though, Blackout Katie has to cause some type of shit. I then called my boyfriend, who was studying at a University about two hours away, made him go back to his room and Skype with me, cause I’m the best. Once Skype was turned on, I saw that he was hosting a little get together in his room, including some girls. So basically I lost my mind, started screaming at them and calling them all kinds of fun names that start with F and C, then threw up and passed out. I woke up in the morning with vomit in my bed and my laptop open to the Skype page. I didn’t remember a thing. On a side note, it was a super fun experience going to visit him that next weekend and having to apologize to girls I’d didn’t remember insulting. Oops.
This may not have been the most insane blackout story ever, but my main point is that I do not remember any of it. Everything I just told you has been told to me by the people who saw me. To this day, there could be things I did of which I have no idea. I know that doesn’t seem so terrible, but it’s actually pretty fucking scary. I could have gotten lost, or hurt, or even sexually assaulted.
I’ve grown up a bit since then. I still drink a stupid amount, but my tolerance and general maturity levels have kept Blackout Katie at bay, for the most part. So I guess the main takeaway of this kinda lame story of a girl who blacked out and had a mediocre time at a party is to just be careful, especially tonight.
Sexual assault rates are staggeringly high, a girl nearly died after passing out in the winter on her own porch, overdosing is becoming increasingly high for recreational drug users. I know things get crazy, I completely encourage things to get crazy, but know your limits, and if you do black out, try to make sure it’s with someone you know and trust.
So cheers to this god awful year, and everyone party responsibly tonight…but not too responsibly 😉